


What We Leave Behind

by disasterbisexual



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Heavy Angst, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 17:10:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13345743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disasterbisexual/pseuds/disasterbisexual
Summary: Papyrus is gone. All that's left for Sans to remember him by is a tattered red scarf.





	What We Leave Behind

He hated the sun.

Whenever he saw it, he glared down at his feet, wishing for rain. The wind, the sky, the sea, they were all painful reminders of what he had lost.

Was it really worth it, being on the surface? In other lifetimes, Frisk had crossed the barrier alone, leaving behind everyone they knew in the Underground. But they hadn’t been satisfied with that ending.

 

No, it wasn’t worth it. No world was worth living in that didn’t have his brother standing beside him.

 

It was funny, he thought. Now that Papyrus was gone, he missed things he didn’t realized he’d even been paying attention to. His laugh, the smell of burnt spaghetti wafting out of the kitchen, even the way he used to scold Sans about making too many puns.

But none of that mattered anymore. It wouldn’t do for someone else to do those things for him, Sans decided. Papyrus’s death defeated the purpose of those things being a part of his life. That gaping hole in his chest, where his soul used to be, would never be filled. It was only right.

Nobody seemed to notice any difference in his behavior. Maybe that was because he acted the same as he always did; wearing the same clothes day after day, keeping to himself most nights, brief, stiff interactions with people, relying on puns to get him through a half-assed conversation. The only visible difference between Sans and the person he used to be was the red scarf he tied around his waist, a make-believe bloody sash.

No one had managed to get through to him, and as far as he was concerned, no one would. He stopped caring the moment Papyrus’s soul fractured into a thousand little pieces, too small to be picked up. They spread on his scarf and were scattered onto the wind, leaving Sans behind a small reminder that his brother had, in fact, existed once.

He stared out the window, eyes boring into the trees that seemed to loom, now ominously, over his cottage. Not caring was easy. Stuffing those feelings deep, deep down took less effort than breathing. It gave him something to do, something to focus on, something to put a cork in that gap to prevent all his pent-up emotions from spilling out in a torrent of pain.

 

“Sans..?” The door creaked open. Metal boots clanked softly against the carpeted floor.

His visitor huffed, refusing to take her eyes off him. “I’m sorry, Sans.”

 

He closed his eyes. That voice belonged to the former captain of the Royal Guard, only it was quivering with grief. Not so high and mighty now, was she?

She took a step forward, kneeling down to his height. “I’m not leaving until you agree to help me.”

Silence.

Undyne shifted from foot to foot. “We need to finish what he started. You’re the only one who really remembers him, and Alphys can’t do this on her own.”

Silence again.

“Don’t make her do this alone, Sans. Because she can’t.” Her voice pierced his private world. Undyne had always been the blunt type, upfront and honest about her intentions. At least she wasn’t trying to baby him like Toriel, or burst into tears every time she saw him, like the kid.

 

“You’re not the only one who lost someone.”

 

His chest tightened. Slowly, he stood up, not even bothering to greet her. For the first time in what felt like a million years, he spoke.

“How dare you.”

Undyne laughed, a broken, mirthless sound.

“How dare I? How dare YOU! How could you just– just– close yourself off from the world like that? People need you! Toriel needs you! Alphys needs you! I need you! F.. the kid needs you, Sans.”

She wavered slightly, noticing his deadened eye flare to life with crackling blue fire at the mention of Frisk’s name.

“I told you. That was another life. I’m not going back.”

Tears slid down his cold, pale cheeks, but he didn’t care. In fact, he wanted her to see how much it hurt. He wanted her to see the beast–the monster he’d become. Without his brother, life just wasn’t worth living. It didn’t matter how many other people died, they all would eventually.

Undyne’s fist tightened around her spear.

“Then you’re not the person I thought you were.”

She slammed the door behind her, making the room shake for a few moments as her words lingered in the air behind her. Sans knew she’d be back, she didn’t give up that easily. Her temper was her worst flaw, and he didn’t mind using it against her.

He sighed. Maybe she had a point. As long as someone needed him–as long as they needed him–he wouldn’t be alone.

Sans would throw himself into his work, solving problems, creating others, forcing their progress back two steps for every step closer they got to the solution.

But for right now, for one last day, he would give himself one last chance to say goodbye.

The next morning, he placed the torn red scarf on his neatly folded bed.

 

“Goodnight, Papyrus.”


End file.
